Diary Of A Mad Writer #8 - So The Foresight Had Some Insight, In The Light Of Hindsight. (Thankyou, Bernard)

As I look towards the future, I've decided it might be a good time to take a step forwards and take the opportunity to look back at the previous projects I have begun, both to get an indication of the work I've done so far, and to see if there are any works that may be worth salvaging and updating for future use. Or to put it simply, in order to move forward I've looked backwards and taken the past to use in the future, and find to think forwards, one must in truth, think backwards, but only in a back to front forward thinking way.

Allow me to elaborate.

Or at least, to stop talking nonsense.

I've about ten years worth of various projects on my computer, not all of them finished. Sadly I don't seem to have anything from before this, as I appear to have deleted it all (or at least, not backed up my files when we changed computers). It was probably terrible, as it was all from 16 years and under, but I'd have liked the opportunity to have said that myself.

As my current main goal is to get something published in a sci-fi/fantasy magazine within (hopefully) the next six months, I've been going through my old files to see if there was anything that could be polished up and submitted as is. the outlook so far, is not good. Out of all the files I've been through, they have all broadly fallen into one of the following categories:

1. Too Short - The magazines I have found have a minimum word count of 2000 words, quite a few of my short stories fall around the 1600 mark.

2. Too Long - Most of the other stories I have exceed the maximum length (8000 words)

3. Wrong Genre - Many of those that are neither too long or too short are in fact too 'not science fiction or fantasy', making them difficult to submit to a sci-fi/fantasy magazine.

4. Wrong Format - Written for radio, film, television, or theatre. Could possibly be rewritten, but most of them fall into category 1, 2, or 3 anyway.

5. Atrocities - Awful work, kept because I no longer wish to throw any stories out, but deserving to be burnt in a fire(wall).

After you throw out all of those, you're not really left with anything, except for a couple of recent projects that fit the bill perfectly, except they fall into category 6: Not finished yet.

However, while looking through the pieces I discoverd a bunch of longer stories I had begun but never conituned beyond about the 10th chapter (or in one case, the 2nd page). As it turns out there's a reason for this which is probably deserves its own blog, but looking through them I was actually rather pleased with what I'd written so far. So I've dug them out and am editing them between calls at work in an attempt to bring them up to spec, and then can look at either finishing them, or adapting them into shorter works that would be suitable for submission.

So is there anything I can submit now? No. But there are plenty of things I will be able to submit, once they're done.

Assuming I don't change computers anytime soon.

Diary Of A Mad Writer #7 - Project Updates

I seem to have story ideas coming out of my ears at the moment, although possibly it's just wax. Either way I have a lot of ideas to write and I'm having a little trouble deciding which to write first, and indeed what style to write them in. Largely it comes down to what I can do with them once they are done.

Allow me to elaborate.

Current project ideas:

1. - "Mistake In Identity." Short comedy film about someone who is convinced a deceased celebrity is hiding out in their local supermarket, despite the fact that the person in question doesn't resemble the celebrity.

Neat idea, low budget requirements and high chance of being turned into a finished project with film group.

2. - "Midas." Long form fantasy adventure featuring dreams, princesses, robot demons and changing worlds when you sleep.

Pet project for the last year or so, still struggling with style and of course the difficulty of publishing once complete.

3. - "MI8" Long form crime/fantasty thriller about secret magic government organisations.

Style downpat and 12 chapters complete, again the issue of getting published.

4. - "The Last Chicken In The Shop" Short Story. Have had the plot worked out for some years about a machine that can make anything out of anything, and gets quite abstract when you ask it to make people you don't like no longer exist...

Working on finding the best tone. Until recently unable to think of what to do with it once it's done (apart from publish online), but recently hit upon the idea of submitting to fantasty/sci-fi magazines.

5. - "The War of The Bear." Teddy Bear story about two brands of bears in a toy shop (the Russel bears and the Jonathan bears) and the xenophobia and fighting that ensues when the new bears arrive in the shop. Eventually everyone is destroyed and put back together from all the different parts.

Told as a creation myth (and therefore very hard to write). Useful as a spring board to other stories.



6. - "A Sword In The Hand, A Pick In The Lock" Fantasy Comedy Adventure story about two treasure hunters, their priest treasure hunting wannabe groupie, and their plan to break into an evacuated underground city and steal all their gold.

A chance to use fast paced dialogue and one liners without it getting too much in the way of the story, but heavy editing required to make sure it doesn't go overboard. Emphasis on action sequences. Planning to submit to magazines or journals once done.

I've started doing some reasearch into fantasy and science fiction journals which will hopefully assist in getting an increase in published work. I figure since I'm at the point where I'm attempting to pursue this, I need to get as much work submitted as possible, so I'll be working to submit as much as I can for the rest of the year. Stay tuned.

Welcome To Your Mid Year Review, Please Sit Down

Well, the first half of the year is over (or if you're financially minded, the first half of the year has only just begun, so well done on catching up to the rest of us). Summer has been and gone (and good riddance), winter has properly arrived (Hello Winter), tax returns are now submittable (yet despite the offer of free money, many won't bother to do them until the night before the deadline, proving once and for all that this is NOT just a student thing), and christmas is now only 180 days away. Not that we're counting. It's also six months since I took my first steps towards pursuing a future in writing, rather than just writing as much as I could around full time work ("as much as I could" = "not a lot"). So it's time for a review.

Allow me to elaborate.

Six months ago (not to scale) I begun looking for part time work, with the interest of pursuing side projects such as theatre, film, and video games (the making, not the attending, watching, and playing of, respectively). By the end of January I had moved into a new position away from my previous employer and begun my new part time work. At roughly the same time I began work on my writing projects. This was very much a test to see if a) I could get by on a part time income, and b) whether I could productive enough to continue to produce material on an expanded basis.

So here is a comparison and review for 2010 compared to 2009, to swell my ego with the helium of success and puncture it with the thumb tacks of failure.

2010 so far: A review and comparison. (Titles by Warren Zevon)

Lawyers, Guns and Money: The financial stuff.

Savings mid 2009: $5000.00
Expensive holidays to the UK: 1
Savings mid 2010: $0

Unfulfilling Full Time Jobs 2009: 1
Unfulfilling Part Time Jobs 2009: 0

Unfulfilling Full Time Jobs 2010: 0
Unfulfilling Part Time Jobs 2010: 1

Number of credit cards mid 2009: 2
Number of credit cards mid 2010: 0!

Expensive medical tests 2009: 0
Number of chronic back injuries: 1

Expensive medical tests 2010: 2
Number of congenitive heart diseases: 0!
Number of chronic back injuries: 1

Personal Loans 2009: 1
Personal Loans 2010: 1

Lottery wins: 0
Lottery entries: 0
Results: Inconclusive.

Non-essential purchases: Too many.

Comments: Great improvement in debt reduction, but poor saving results.
Goal for rest of 2010: Save some cash up for visiting Dad in Perth, laptop. Less debt = good.

Johnny Strikes Up The Band: The creative stuff.

Number of plays produced 2009: 0
Number of plays produced 2010: 1

Number of short films written 2009: 0
Number of short films written 2010: 1

Number of novels written 2009: 0
Number of novels written 2010: 0.1

Knowledge of computer prorgramming and level design 2009: None.
Knowledge of computer prorgramming and level design 2010: a bit.

Number of sword fights won with pens: 0
Number of sword fights lost with pens: 0
Results: Inconclusive.

Number of Fish in Black cartoons 2009: 0
Number of Fish in Black cartoons 2010: 0
Sighs: Many.

World Hunger ended through power of written word: Still none.

Comments: Undeniably a great improvement, but more could still have been done in the time available. Procrastination is a harsh mistress.
Goal for rest of 2010: Finish level design course, write additional films. Resume Fish In Black. Release website.

Excitable Boy: The Misc stuff.

New Years Eve spent 2009: Brunswick
New Years Eve spent 2010: York

Love of Beatles mid 2009: 0
Love of Beatles mid 2010: 9000

Xbox 360 Gamerscore end of 2009: 19850
Xbox 360 Gamescore mid 2010 30071.
Conclusions: Worrying.

Favourite Band: Barenaked Ladies
Favourite Game: Mass Effect 2
Favourite Film: Toy Story 3.
Favourite Pretzel: Don't really eat pretzels.


Outlook: Positive.

Attack Of The Mini-Blog

From time to time I have ideas for a blog that can't be spun out to a full length blog, or feel bloated and swollen like they've eaten slightly too many chips (no such thing, but I digress). So this in attempt to use up some of those shorter blog ideas without needlessly extending them. Sort of a spring cleaning, but for blogs.

We'll ignore the fact that it's winter.


Diary Of A Mad Writer #7 - Trying To Find Time At Work To Do My Work

I recently made a rather odd discovery, which is that my most productive time for writing and planning creative work is when I'm at my day job.

Allow me to elaborate.

I started working for a new company earlier this year with the idea of working part time to pay the bills, and allow me more free time to rest and so I could focus more time on my writing work. And in all aspects I appear to have succeeded, but not in the way I expected. The plan was, work during the morning, creative stuff in the afternoon, evenings off, with a full day of creative work on Fridays. Unfortunately however, my afternoons and evenings have mostly ended being spent playing games, resting, and otherwise taking it easy, which has had the nice benefit of ensuring that for the first time in years I am not walking around in a general state of exhaustion. But it means I haven't spent my afternoons writing as planned.

But that's ok, because since moving to the new job I have written two blogs a week, a play, a short film, done planning for some tv episodes, and done a chunk of work on a novel.

Perhaps it's the structure, or the ready supply of tea, but it has been very easy to write between calls or on breaks at work, and after some tests, I appear to write much faster and produce more work in between other stuff than if I sit down and just power through it.

So say what you like about my job, at least it's helping me write!


I am your new leader! I'll be behind you all the way! Wait...

My friends facebook updates have been a blaze since late last night with the news, and show no sign of slowing nearly 24 hours later. There has been movement at the station, and the word has very much gotten around. Kevin Rudd, the PM who managed to oust the previous PM after 12 years, has stepped down, as an alternative to being dismissed. The news is full of debates on both side, those who signal this as the beginning of the end for the Labour leadership and those who are uncertain but hopeful for the future.

I'm honestly finding it hard to work up any enthusiasm.

Allow me to elaborate.

I have a rather unique (some would say naieve) view of politics. I vote, I pay a vague attention to who the candidates are, and I ensure I'm always up to date with the Australian Electoral Comission. Other than that, I have an agreement with them, being that I'll stay out of their way if they stay out of mine.

Back when the previous PM was starting his fourth term, I remember one of my parents saying that it would be near impossible for for the other party to win now, and they weren't sure how they were going to manage. Out of politeness I refrained from pointing out that we seemed to have survived ok for nine years so far, and that the past nine years didn't feel all that different from the six years before that.

In the end, will the new PM change anything? Probably not much. My coffee will still taste the same, my job will still be the same, the homeless will still be homeless. Labour lowered unemployment? They've previously raised it too. PMs come and go, but in the end life goes on, and I suppose it stops politicians from being... I don't know... serial killers. Hey, it could happen.
 
That Costello chap always struck me as suspicious...
 
 
A Short And Insightful Blog About Milo, By Sam.
 
I like Milo.



You have been reading A Short And Insightful Blog about Milo, By Sam.

Diary Of A Mad Writer #6, Now With Mad Organising Skill(z)

This morning I went to my slightly overdue haircut, so I went and caught the bus over to Northcote, where I've been getting my hair cut for the last five years. Some would argue (reasonably persuasively) that there are many hair dressers in my own suburb, and wouldn't it save time to get it cut there? Well, yes. But I like this hair dresser, he knows me and he knows how I cut my hair, which is good because I don't, other than "um, shorter than it is now" which really doesn't narrow it down all that much, especially when I haven't been in a few months.

Before I get my haircut I generally treat myself to a cooked breakfast at the cafe accross the road, a) because it's extremely nice, b) because I'm in the area anyway, and c) because I can. There's something quite relaxing about writing some notes for upcoming projects while sipping a coffee and idly munching on some leftover toast, and it's something I would do more often if my budget and health allowed.

The haircut itself was a little short for my liking, though unfortunately once that's occurred it's difficult to say "actually a bit longer would be great, thanks" since the 'damage' so to speak has already occurred, so there's not a terribly huge amount you can do. Unless you're Doctor Who/Marty McFly, as then you could go back in time and, say, prevent the hairdresser from being born. This wouldn't change your hair but it would create a paradox that would at least take your mind off it. In any case it's not terrible by any means, and it will grow into a length that I prefer. And then continue to grow, like the rebellious head of hair that it is.

Currently I am putting some work into a couple of different long form stories I am writing, after the realisation that though it seems slower, I actually am more productive when working on multiple things at once. Even though I achieve less in each project, I achieve more overall, and so in the long term this is beneficial, provided I keep staring into the distance, which is why I really should go back to the optometrist and get my glasses updated.

So there are two stories I am currently working on long term:

A fantasy novel about trying to wake someone in your own dreams.

A fantasy crime thriller about the mysterious descendants of the so called witches from the Middle Ages. I would call it Harry Potter with guns, except that's a terrible thing to call it, and besides, it's not. Anyway, Ender's Game is Harry Potter with guns.

What I've never really done before, but which seems to be helping, is keeping some notes (which I'm using some software on my computer for) on characters, locations, and events and plotting out a timeline to assist me with keeping events going correctly. This is stuff I normally do in my head, but it's definately helping having it all out visually in front of me. The software does go a little too far, asking me rather unhelpful questions like "What does this place smell like" to which I must resist the answer "your face", but otherwise it's good to have an indication of each area and character, meaning their design remains consistent, and chan be updated as needed.

So I'm enjoying working on both of these, as well the website, the game project, the film projects, the theatre project, and the tv projects. Oh, and my day job.

Yup, keeping myself busy...

Cold Season, Flu Season, Red Season, Blue Season!

They say that every journey begins with a single step. This is true.

They don't say that every plummit off a 5000 ft cliff begins with a single step as well, but this is also true, unless you're Stephen Hawking, Christopher Reeve, or have the ability to fly via perhaps some type of jetpack, helicopter, or a freak mutation at birth that gave you wings/your own jet propulsion system that the other kids mocked you for at primary school but now a super villian is attacking the town hall and the smart yet ditzy and good looking mayor's aide is trapped inside and the only entrance is from the roof and oh if only there was a hero who could get inside and save her/take her out to dinner so WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? HUH? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

I think I may have wandered off point.

While it's certainly true that a 1,000,000 step journey does indeed begin with a single step, feeling proud of yourself after only one step when you've still got 999,999 steps to go is probably a bit premature. Don't get me wrong. I will walk 500 miles. And I think the sentiment behind the saying is that rather than worrying about the length of the journey, it's important to just get out there and start (Unless rather than the 500 mile/fall down at door scenario, you are referring to the plummeting cliff death scenario, in which case I heartily recommend NOT starting. Procrastination has it's merits, particuliarly in relation to falling off cliffs).

My brother and I have been planning a number of interactive game projects since we were about 5. This wasn't the only thing we made up, in our heads we created books, movies, tv shows, plays, and ocassionally adventures where we were (obviously) the stars. In many ways we've always been writers. Not necessarily GOOD writers, but writers nonetheless. I remember one of our earliest ideas was a sketch comedy tv show which featured a large amount of video game references (we liked video games, you see). A lot of the sketches we came up with have (fortunately) vanished into the mists of time like so much, um, mist, but what I can recall seems to largely consist of my brother being a lizard (not really for any humourous intent, he just likes lizards), and me walking into walls.

Fortunately we've greatly improved since then. Our current project is a modifcation for an existing game, which I am handling writing and level design/creation for. Every modifcation begins with a single step, and for me that step is that, in order for me to create and design the levels, I need to know how you create and design levels.

So I'm going through a dvd course at the moment, and in a nerdy/geeky (not dorky) kind of way, am finding it thoroughly fascinating. I'm currently playing through the main game we are working with (damn you, achievements) and it's quite interesting to see how it's put together. The first time I played through the thought generally running through my head was "Wow, look at the world they've *BANG!* built, it's incredible *RAAARGH!* how immersive *EXPLODE!* this game is." Now, the thought running through my head is "Interesting, *BLAM!* so they used this texture here, but *SLASH!* rotated it, and used a light field to *SPLATTER* create that shadow..." which certainly adds a rathe surreal air to it all, like an action game where you play as a chartered accountant who defends the galaxy while also doing his tax return.

The type of things you can get away with in a 3D engine is really rather ingenious, including the ability to create a scale model of, say, a mountain range, and being able to use this as a giant 3-dimensional background.

Yes I'm a nerd. But being a nerd is AWESOME.

(As a side note, the title of this blog was suggested by my good friend N3rd Girl, who runs a blog at http://n3rd-girl.blogspot.com/, which is very amusing. You should read it. You should read it now. I'll wait.)

Diary Of A Mad Writer #5 - It's the End of the World. Get the Popcorn.

I've a number of projects going on at the moment. I'm teaching myself to create levels for the Source Engine (HL2, Portal, et al.), which is challenging but satisfying, and there is no doubt in my mind based on what I've seen that everything I want to do is entirely doable.

Work on the new website proceeds well, we've outlined the look and layout we're after (a little different from your average website but striking and unique, which will add character to our brand, and also add a local flavour), and the smarter of the team (Hi Ben) has put together a functioning front page mock up based on what we've worked out (only with buttons that go nowhere, in the literal sense rather than the frustrating web design sense).

My writing partner has been a veritable font of creativity of late, coming up with two play ideas and the premise of a short film, all of which I am happy to be assisting on. But the current writing project is one we started last year. I have been given the honour of drafting the opening episode(s), and am currently putting together an opening that will hopefully introduce everything and set the tone for later episodes. It's going well, although as always I'll need to do some editing once it's done, I'm currently up to page 12 of a 20 page script, and I'd estimate a quarter through the story. But hey, means we've got lots to work with.

Not much is happening in real life this week, mainly education and helping out some friends who have a lot on their plate, so after a short delay I present the return of the weekly film review. See next blog.

Diary of a Mad Writer #4 - Oh, so they have the internet on computers these days?

Lots has happened since last update.

The play has been and gone, and if I do say so, been and gone quite well indeed. After a first week of empty theatres and slightly nervous performances, our second week was a great success, with large audiences, solid performances, and many a laugh. (From the audience, not from us, that would be weird) Although we were unable to break even, we did come mighty close, and I take that as a win. Compliments were received for both the writing and the performance, which certainly gives me hope for the future.

We've begun talks for our next production (which is likely to be the following year), and I have eagerly leapt into my next project, of which I will remain quiet for the moment as we are only in the early stages and announcing before we're ready is never a good idea, suffice to say it is a combination of several different smaller projects. Watch your computer monitors.

Currently I'm teaching myself a lot of new skills, as there are areas I want to move into that I have little to no practicaly knowledge about, so with the help of some text books and a few dvds, I'm slowly increasing my skillset, which will help with the projects in question, but also provide some long term open doors. It's a shame the software is so expensive, but ah well, can't be helped.

Diary of a Mad Writer #3 - I'll sleep when I'm... tired?

Tiredness is becoming a big part of my day.


There has been some improvement since we changed the script, as I'm no longer losing sleep over the impending poor production, now I'm just losing sleep over the impending looking quite good production as I want it do well. Add in new work hours and a reasonably hectic schedule of late and you've got a recipe for... zzz...


Ok I'm back.


To be honest, tiredness is improving greatly, the play is moving forward ahead of schedule and lines are being learnt and blocking is being planned. Fingers crossed we'll have a good production come April 6. The cast definately have the skills, we just need to get there.


It is exciting to be working on first real project since the priorities adjustment of 2009, but the short time frame is definately taking its toll. After the play is completed I am looking to roll back to a slower paced writing schedule, and focus on some of the non performance pieces (although the TV show remains a high priority and the scripts are to be completed by June).


I think for a change of pace I will work on the Zombie survival project next, it'll give me a chance to teach myself Flash (something I've wanted to learn for awhile), which will also work for the upcoming redesign of http://www.fishinblack.com/.


It will also justify the money I spent on teach yourself Flash and ActionScript3.0 text books, but that's another story...


Once TV scripts and Zombie project are completed, work will start in ernest on one of the novels.


Good to have a plan.

Diary of a Mad Writer #2 - Thinking of the future, thinking of now.

As I type this journal, the first thought to go through my head is my life is very different to how it was a day ago.


Actually that's not true in any capacity, I thought no such thing, and my life is much the same as yesterday, it just seemed like a good opener.


Another night that was low on sleep, largely due to the remnants of a cold that will hopefully be realising it's outstayed it's welcome any day now, but also because my brother is buying a new computer and is very excited (understandably) and is frequently seeking my advice. This is very flattering as he obviously feels I 'know stuff', at least when it comes to choice of computer hardware, but does mean I am assaulted at all hours with questions such as "But can the 5870 out perform the 4870, when direct x11 products have not even been released yet?" He's very considerate and doesn't bother me once I've gone to bed but woe betide me should I wander past the study to take some pain killers, as he'll humbly ask if I can run over the latest build for him, and I haven't the heart to say no.


Emboldened by a large cup of caffeine; I thought I would update everyone on where I stand creatively at the moment.


Current and Future projects:
1 Play (Current main project)
3 Novels (2 active, 1 archived)
3 TV Shows (2 active, 1 future development)
1 Flash Game (In Learning phase)


In reverse order:


Flash Game - The Dead Shall Walk.
Surival Horror game inspired by older games such as Sword of the Samurai and The Oregon Trail. A slow paced game about the preperation and execution of your escape from an invading zombie horde. Choosing which supplies to take and leave behind, whether to use faster but noisier transport, whether to fight or to run, whether to travel into the day and risk being spotted or lose time and supplies by waiting till nightfall. A learning project in order to teach me Adobe Flash and Action Script 3.0.

TV Shows - 2 Comedy/Dramas, 1 Review Show.
These are projects created by a collegue of mine that I have been recruited for to assist in a writing/acting capacity. More will be revealed once they have moved further into production.

Novel - MI8
Not in active production, but an old project I intend to return to. Crime Thriller with a supernatural twist, this story deals with the fictional MI8 division of British security, that handles magical crimes. The story of a Witch Finder and his companion Witch Smeller, and their attempts to uncover an alchemy crime ring. Delves into the Witch Smellers and their origins. The first twelve chapters can  be read at http://thefibber.deviantart.com/

Novel - The Great Red
Murder Mystery set on the Indian Pacific, a train that runs from Sydney to Perth through the Nullabor Plain. Theft and eventual murder breaksout on the train, and everyone assumes it must be an inside job as the crimes occur during the middle of the desert. But all is not as it seems...

Novel - Midas
Fantasy Adventure set in the dream world of Midas, a girl who disappears into her dreams when her boyfriend is turned into a tree due to magic leaking through from the dream, and attempts to wake the princess before reality collapses. All in day's work.

Play - A Guy, A Girl, Two Fruitcakes.
Situation Comedy about 2-3 nights in the lives of three people, each 7 years apart. Extremely silly and farcical, full of rapid fire dialogue and humour. An extended version of a previous short play that was performed in 2003. The play is scheduled to be performed in April at the Mechanic's Institute in Brunswick.

The big change is less than 24 hours ago, this was not the play we wre going to be perfomring.

Since the end of January I and my two collegues have been working on a script entitled "Scarred For Life" which we had developed after a previous production had fallen through due a lack of suitable actors. The basic premise was a girl, oppressed by her controlling father, retreated into her own little fantasy world, inspired by the fairy tales of old.

After 4 drafts and back and forthing we eventually sat down to a meeting yesterday and had to admit the harsh and unfortunate truth that the script simply wasn't working. Faced with the option of either performing a lacklustre script or cancelling production, we instead turned to our backlog of old works, and discovered, in one of those "why didn't we think of this earlier, no, really, WHY didn't we think of this earlier?" moments a script I had previously written, which was performed in 2003 as part of a short lived living room theatre group, which sort of fell of the wagon when real productions became a possibility, and a lack of availability from a university based acting community.

It was short, it was funnier than our existing script, and it called for the bare minimum of props and only three actors (which is how many actors we had). In short, it suited our needs perfectly. Plans were made to extend it to a full length 40-60 minute play, and we were back on track.

The fairy tale script has promise in premise (or premise in promise?) and after extensive rewrites, replanning and a complete change of track, may still see the life of day in the future. but certainly not in it's current form.

So there is plenty to keep me busy over the next 12-24 months while I pursue this writing thing.

I am starting to feel the drag from lack of sleep so I'm off to make another cup of I-really-can-believe-it's-not-coffee.

Diary of a Mad Writer #1 - It was early and I was tired

As I type this journal, the first thought to go through my head is my life is very different to how it was a year ago.

Actually that's not entirely true. In fact almost none of it is entirely true, so allow me to clarify. While my life is indeed very different to a year ago, it is also different to three months ago, and since I only got 4 and a half hours sleep last nigtht, in fact the first thought to go through my head is bluuururughgh buh... huh... what? Only after fighting past that initial incoherence do I arrive at anything approaching the philosoophical.

Still, as I count down the minutes until I click "Log in" and begin my day job work (at which point my behaviour will not change very much) and sip idly at my boiling hot cup of international roast (I am my mother's son and could never bring myself to refer to it as coffee), I can't help but agree with myself. My life is very different to how it was a year ago. On the whole this is for the better.

A year ago, I was a Team Leader in a call centre working for a company that worked for a leading telecommunications company (or "telco" if you're in the biz, apparently). On the whole I enjoyed being a supervisor. I got to work with people more than I worked with customers - the key difference being I could see my employees - and my pragmatism, compined with a loyalty to my staff unto death and a depressingly encyclopedic knowledge of systems and product information meant that my staff and fellow employees seemed to hold me in a flattering but bafflingly devoted light. I was earning more money than I knew entirely what to do with, and life, for all outward appearances, appeared to be good.

Except, I began to realise, it wasn't. While being a Team Leader was in many ways satisfying work, I would be lying if I said it was what I hoped to achieve in life. Everyone expected me to progress further into the company, up to a Project Manager and beyond, and I didn't have the heart to tell them that I had absolutely no interest in this kind of work. The higher up the chain you go, the less people you work with, and the more the work becomes finance and contracts focussed, topics of which I will say nothing for fear of causing offence.

At the risk of sounding artistic and whiney, it has always been my dream to write, act, and direct, otherwise be involved in the creative arts. It's something I hold a great passion for, and something I (at the risk of sounding immodest, which is thoroughly unlike me) feel I have a talent for.

The earliest thing I remember writing is a story about my soft toy Spot dog, and one of the thrilling plot twists contained within was I once went to bed and cuddle my soft toy all night! (since then we've sadly fallen out of touch) This was followed by the hilarious "Sam's joke book" of which I can sadly (or fortunately) only remember one joke which follows:

Q: Why did the buildings roll all the vehicles flat?
A: Because they wanted to play cars!

Do you see? Do you see what I did there? It's like, cards, as in playing cards, only I've left out the d, you see, so now it's cars! Cars!

This only goes to show that you're never to young to pun, and badly at that. Some would argue since then my punning skills have only decreased.

The earliest thing I remember acting in was a play of the fairy tale "The Worn Out Shoes" (and therefore it is somewhat fitting that my current project is putting the finishing edits to a play that featurs a retelling of this story) which was put on by my grade 4 class. Our art/drama teacher in primary school was a delightful old soul who believed that the old tales were at their best when they were at their bloodiest. Spurred into a bloodlust by the recently released Beauty and the Beast by disney, he embarked our class on a serious of fairy tale projects, some art, some drama, spurring us on with the uplifting mantra: "Don't forget the blood!"

After grade 4 this teacher sadly departed for better prospects and was replaced by a new teacher who while no less skilled, was far less bloody and therefore far more boring. We did however put on two excellently entertaining (from the perspective of people who were in them, the audience's perspective may differ somewhat) productions in grade 5 and 6, "The Sign of The Seahorse", based on the book by Graeme Base, and "The Pagemaster", based on the book by someone or other, and several years before the lacklustre film. Seahorse was a wonderful meld of puppetry and costumes, and in Pagemaster I was lucky enough to play the lead, forcing me to wear glasses for the part and hinting at my future optical impairment (and nerdom).

It was during this production of Pagemaster that I did my first ever directing (if you can call it that) when, at the humble age of 11, I began to coach the other actors on performance and staging. I didn't really notice I was doing this at first, it just sort of happened, and I first realised I had taken on this role after this memorable exchange:

Me: How about we both be a little angrier?
Other Kid: How about you shut up?

I was, of course, a little more subdued after this particuliar conversation, no matter that they quite clearly took my advice to heart.

So, even when i was a child, this is what I wanted to do. And so it was with a bit of a shock that I suddenly found myself working full time as a supervisor in a call centre 14 years later. My creative exploits (short films, stories and an online comic) had dried up as the exertion of managing full time had begun to take it's toll. My holidays were no longer to go and do a project or go travel somewhere, they were to sit at home and do nothing until I got my energy back. The evenings when I had so confidently claimed I would be doing all my creative work, were spent tiredly procrastinating before retiring to bed and oversleeping. What's more, having a large disposal income was proving to be thoroughly too tempting, and I was not only spending most of my funds on random purchases, thanks to a credit card I was spending more than my income on them. Combined with the late hours, I wasn't eating properly, and my health was suffering as a result.

This, coupled with the fact that my work had recently doubled in size and were about to change it's archaic but functional computer system to a new, swish, pretty but entirely less functional one, and the fact that I was shouldering most of the weight myself until the new supervisor got up to speed, left me convinced that a bit of a change was in order.

I made plans. Given that this is me and I'm not particularly spontaneous in many respects, there were fairly long term ones.

First, I would slog through the recruitment and system changes at work, because say what else you like about me, but I will not abandon my workplace in it's hour of need. But once the project had found its feet, I would quietly withdraw.

Second, I started planning a holiday. A proper holiday. One of my oldest friends was coming to the end of their 18 month stint overseas, and I had been vaguely planning for most of that 18 months to go and see them at some point. So we made plans for me to visit them over Christmas. (you can read about this in my earlier blog entries)

Third, I refinanced my personal loan, paid off a lot of my other debt, bought my plane tickets, and began to save in ernest. (I also borrowed a little more and also bought a tv, but nobody's perfect)

Four, I changed my diet, replacing one of my meals each day with a meal substitute, cutting down on the amount of take away I was consuming, and ensuring what I was eating was healthy and covered the basic vitamin requirements.

Five, I started a blog. I decided one of the best ways of getting writing again was to, well, start writing. I decided it didn't entirely matter what I wrote about so long as I was actually writing, and nothing says "doesn't entirely matter" better than a blog does. Once I had changed jobs to part time, I intended to begin writing again properly.

Now, life is a fluid and flexible thing, and almost none of the above plans went entirely to, well, plan.

Work did indeed eventually find its feet, but only after doubling in size and completely changing its method of business, and then downsizing because it became too efficient to employ all the people it had recently hired. I was honest and upfront with work about my plans to eventually depart (something that surprised them, but they appreciated), and accepted an on phones position rather than kicking out another team leader, and then leaving anyway. They very kindly kept me on as a casual but with full time hours (something that cost them a great deal of money in wages and something they were under no obligation to do), which enabled me to increase my savings for my holiday. After my return (literally, right after my return) I was recommended by a friend to another position in part time accounts for another call centre, and was successful. Work was sorry to see me go after nearly five years with them, and gave me a suitable fairwell of which I am still eternally grateful.

My finances were for a time greatly improved, and I successfully saved enough funds to be able to have a affordable but largely unhindered holiday around the UK. However an error on the part of the scottish youth hostel association left me out of pocket approximately seven hundred and fifty dollars, and due to the nature of the travel card I had stored my money on, I was unable to use it to pay off the resultant credit card debt this created, which unfortunately increased the amount owing on the credit card. (This was also increased by what can only be referred to as an incoherent spending spree brought on by holiday euphoria). The new part time work is a mixed blessing, offering far less funds per week, but as an upshot my budgeting is vastly improved, and brining my lunch from home has dropped my daily expenditure to effectively zero.

My diet has now improved, but did not straight away, as one of the offshoots of working casual with full time hours is I had to do the 11:30 finishes at work until my holiday. These paid well and I didn't mind work late hours, but it is very very hard to eat well when the meal you need to eat at work is your dinner. The options are either to eat sandwiches for dinner or get takeaway, and I will be honest and say the latter happened the majority of the time. It is only now with part time shifts and finishing mid afternoon that diet has finally settled down to a fixed and healthy pattern.

The blog has been hit and miss, I updated consistently for the first month, then fell off a little til my holiday, during which time I blogged regularly (because there is so much more to talk about when you're on a new continent), then fell back while I organised changes of positions and new plans for the year.

The holiday, however was a complete success. Amazing and restful.

I ruminated on all these plans as I walked to work from the station this morning, while walking past the breakfast places, smelling the freshly fried bacon, and cursing my new healthy diet and the budget that makes it so easy to adhere to.

With a new job, a new budget, and copious new amounts of free time, I feel finally able to pursue some of the things I've always wanted to pursue.

Near work someone had spray printed a single snowflake onto the ground, which seems bizarre in itself, but they'd also printed below that the optimistic sentence "It's snowing!"

On the whole I found that oddly uplifting.