Burn, baby, burn (do do doo doo)

It’s far too hot today. Actually that’s really not true, it’s a paltry 33 degrees, and it’s going to drop to 20 tomorrow. It’ll get much hotter in summer itself. In fact, people often remind me, many places around the world are regularly in the 40s all year around. This is nothing.

That’s perfectly valid, and an excellent point, though I did have 3 points in response.

1. What is happening elsewhere is mostly irrelevant to what is happening here. Just because boxers get punched in the fact on a daily basis, doesn’t make it any less painful if you punched me in the face right now. (Please don’t.)
2. I don’t live in those places, largely for those reasons.
3. Shut up.

While the heat does in fact bother me a great deal (my ideal weather is a clear 10 degree today), in an oddly paradoxical (or hypocritical depending on your cynicism) turn, I actually don’t notice it all that much, and regularly wear jumpers well into the high 20s. Theories have been put forward by my friends as to why. One is that I may have a lower internal body temperature than most, meaning it takes a hotter temperature to make an impact. The other theory is that I’m just weird.

No matter which theory floats your philosophical boat, the fact remains that for most of the year I am able to wear a jumper comfortably, sleep under a doona, and wear jeans or other long pants all year through. But when the heat does make an impact, it hits hard, leaving me feeling extremely uncomfortable and, (if I can speak candidly) sweating profusely. In all honesty I probably continue to wear a jumper for a little longer than I should after this point. Partly I feel a little self-conscious in only one layer, but mainly I just genuinely prefer and feel more comfortable wearing multiple layers. On an overseas holiday I had to wander dressed in jumper, scarf, gloves, overcoat and hat, and have never felt more properly dressed in my life. So when it comes to Summer’s eventual 45 degree days, when I am reduced to a t-shirt and jeans and still end up feeling way, way too warm, it’s a particularly unpleasant experience for me.

Throw in bushfires, floods (often at the same time), and dead pets, and you’ll hopefully understand why I hate summer.

Well, you could be having a heart attack… but you’re not.

I was sick last week for the first time in about three months (which is a bit of a record. Take THAT, immune system) and ended up having to take three days off to recover. I was fairly confident it was only a cold and so bed rest was all that was needed, but packed myself off to the doctor anyway, partially to compensate from the massive guilt I feel whenever I have to take time off work, and partially because as a non-medical person I couldn’t rule out the possibility that I was about to drop dead. The former was adequately dealt with, but the latter was spun out for longer than it had to be thanks to my Doctor, who I have taking to call “Worst Case Scenario Doctor.”

For the record, and to avoid the same thing happening to anyone reading this, I am entirely fine, and my doctor is, in fact, very good at what he does, which is why I keep going to him. He will inevitably correctly diagnose the problem, offer a few suggested solutions, and has been very helpful in suggesting supplements such as probiotics and fish oil capsules, which, while clinically unproven, have seen a massive improvement to my overall wellbeing and immune system. What he does first though is list every single possible and terrible thing that could be wrong with me, but isn’t.

Previously, when seeing him due to a family history of a particular gene causing higher probability of blood clots, decided it was best to test me for EVERY possible cause of blood clots. The resultant 6 vials of blood they took caused me to faint and go into shock. Incidentally, I have no increased chance of blood clots.

Last week’s particular example involved him giving me a small lecture about heart attacks, key symptoms to watch out for, and crucial steps to take if I ever thought I was having a heart attack. After a short and worrisome pause he then added that I wasn’t having a heart attack, wasn’t showing any signs of having a heart attack apart from some mild chest pain (which was in the wrong spot for it to be a heart attack) and, given my age and recent improvements to weight, was extremely unlikely to get a heart attack.

He then took my blood pressure and wondered why it was rather high…